Oh I like this. <3
The concept is great and I think the last two lines really bring it all together.

Nice job

--
If you never ask, the asnwer is always no.
If you never try, you'll always fail.

beautiful.
you used nice symbolism... but I think a little more rythem would complete it

***I know I'm a hypocrite... none of mine have it ***

--
now known as ~WorldWar-Tori

nice matching with the colours

If you were British this wouldn't have met the requirements for the workshop (grey).

On the surface this appears to be an example of what some call "light verse." The speaker of the poem is painting a "positive" world with oddly muted colors.

What I find most interesting about the poem may have very well been unintentional. Forgive me for psychoanalyzing. What appears to be a light-hearted meditation on a potentially sorrow-free world seems to be a confession of a present world that is inherently sorrowful.

"Black, for a night of harmony,"

Just "a night" not "nights." The speaker seems to be seeking simply a single "night of harmony" and not a permanent fix for the chaotic night.

"Aqua, for a sky without sorrows,"

Is the speaker's sky normally filled with sorrow? Why else would he/she want to paint it sorrow-free?

"Gold, for city lights without horrors,"

This may be the most intriguing image. Most people consider the distant view of "city lights" as beautiful. In fact, they are considered beautiful because the images is so 'distant' from the visceral realities of city streets, pollution, sewage, crime, etc. The fact that the speaker of the poem sees "horrors" in the "city lights" is quite disturbing. Why would the speaker need to paint a new 'icture' of the city lights? Is there some unspoken fear?

"Ivory, for souls unbound from war,"

There are a few ways to be "unbound" from war. A war ending; Desertion; and death.
Since these are "souls" being "unbound, I would think this means "death." But, of course, the speaker could be referring to some spiritual warfare that the "souls" are now "unbound" from, but this isn't clear from the context.

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The speaker's actions are limited to painting (and fancying) which is itself a superficial act. Think about Jesus's admonition of the Pharisees as "whitewashed tombs." Whitewashing is a particular type of painting designed to cover imperfections, to mask the reality of what is inside, which in this case is death. The speaker in this poem is attempting to "whitewash" the world, in a sense, to hide the ugliness of reality.

The irony of the poem is that the speaker causes the reader to become even more aware of the world's imperfections. Thereby, negating the very act of trying to cover it up.

--
Thanks for submitting; this was fun.

Thank you so much for reading! Honestly you had more insight to my poem than I had! But thanks you you, my poem has more of an effect on me! Thanks again for reading and taking the time to critique it.

--
Support the future of art

Posted to avoid fav-and-run.

<Sloppisloth>the only thing words can describe is the feeling of having no words to describe anything

Yay, colours!

The idea is great. Like the optimism. And the simplicity of the poem, since most of the other lipogram entries went to Thesaurus land.

I just don't like the tan colour here, that is, it's line. It's too long and kills the smooth flow of the poem. :/

--
How do you know if you exist?

Really beautiful poem, and very interesting as well.
I especially like the ending of it, it encourages the reader to come and join the painting.

The only thing that bothers me is this part:

"Tan, a child of brown hair, out of many who do not know thirst,
And many colors will go into this painting."

First of all, the longer line breaks the flow of the poem. Secondly, I'm not sure I understand it, it's a bit confusing. Or maybe I'm just retarded

--
"We look to the clouds for they form epic pictures.
Meaningful to some, meaningless to others." - Mournful Congregation.

Nicely done, I love the concept!

--
I know that never in the world
Could I have found me such a girl
Who's there to pick me up before I fall

~Mike Nesmith~

I love the colored approach to painting a world with no sorrow. Interesting concept and well played out.

--
Unrepentant twist the words